Monday, 21 July 2014

CB6000 - 2 milestones passed, 1 lesson learnt

Milestone 1

Yesterday morning at 07:15 I clicked the padlock shut on the CB-6000 I'd packed myself into. It's now 24 hours later and it hasn't come off! I've managed 24 hours locked once before but that was a long time ago. I'm hoping that this time I will manage 48 hours.

It ot really painful at 02:39 and 04:55 this morning when my erection attempted to pull my balls off by pulling on the cage, but apart from those times, the rest had been bearable.

Milestone 2

I ran 13 miles wearing the CB-6000! I have not been able to run further than 5 miles with it on before it started causing serious pain. This time I wrapped my balls in clingfilm (to stop my balls rubbing against my legs) and I also didn't wear any underwear under my leggings. As I've wrapped my balls in clingfilm before but still had problems, it must have been the extra freedom of no tight underwear that helped make it possible to run for 13 miles while wearing the CB-6000.

Lesson Learnt

Don't run wearing a CB-6000 if you have no underwear under your leggings.

I decided to run with no underwear my leggings as they are thin and I was hoping that I might be able to get the effect that I've seen on some women where the leggings seem to disappear up their ass, thus framing each buttock.

I wore a medium length t-shirt. The problem I discovered early into my run is that the CB-6000 is actually quite bulky and it makes a VERY obvious bulge.

After running towards two people like that and being unable to find a way to hide it and seem natural I decided to take my t-shirt off to hide it. I was wearing a pink bra underneath (in fact it's the bra that you can see in the picture in my post before this one) the t-shirt so I lowered that to around my waist and hung the t-shirt off it. The problem then was that the t-shirt did not wrap around my body, so while it covered the CB-6000 the bra strap at the back was left visible.

I took the above photo at the end of my run and discovered that in addition to the bra strap being visible so too was the label of the leggings complete with their little heart logo. Yesterday I ran towards 15 people from the front and passed 17 people from behind. So at least 17 people got to see something similar to what you see above.

Quite exciting really ;-)

I guess I'm not the girl I want to be

Apologies for taking so long to update my blog. I have to admit that the feeling of disappointment that I felt at the make up session did have a huge impact on me. I actually felt ugly. I'm sure it's all my fault, expecting too much from make up, and yet I have seen real life examples of how women use make up to make themselves look better. Why was it that the make up made me look worse? Why did it accentuate my wrinkles rather than hide them a little?

Anyway, I went away for the run. I enjoyed my drive up there. I wore womens clothing (jeans, top and boots as well as panties and a bra of course). I put the fake boobs in my bra. I do love the feeling of the weight pulling down on the bra straps, and looking down to see how the cars seat belt falls between the two, emphasizing them slightly.

Naturally I removed them whenever I had to leave the car. I'd cancelled the nail salon appointment in the immediate aftermath of the make up session. At that stage I'd actually considered doing another purge but thankfully I resisted that.

At the hotel I tried out some make up application for myself. I felt happier with the results I achieved. I think that I need to just do a lot more practice and develop 'my' look.

There is something sensual about applying make up. I don't know if it's because it's one of truly feminine actions or if it's just the process of seeing yourself transformed, even if it just slightly, or if it's the feel and smell, and in the case of lipstick, taste, of the make up, but whatever it is I really enjoyed experimenting. The only question I have is why do hotels give guests white towels?

Saturday I ran the race.

Sunday I dressed in the outfit I'd bought.

I went full out with the underwear as you can see here (I do love that corset).

And here I am fully dressed.

However, I wasn't confident enough with my make up skills, so I put a pair of jeans over the tights and tucked the dress in, removed the wig and breast forms and checked out the hotel. Once at my car the breast forms went back in (and I got to feel that lovely weight again). I left the hotel car park and stopped in a laybye close to the hotel where the wig went back on. Once the wig was on I relaxed a little and using the car mirror I applied some make up. It wasn't a fantastic job, but I did get a thrill every time I caught my reflection on the rear view mirror and saw the make up.

I stopped at two laybyes on the way home. At both I got out the car and walked around. I also stopped at a services but there I parked at the far end of the car park before getting out and walking around a bit. I did get some curious looks from some of the occupants of the cars that were nearby but nothing threatening.

So in the end I did not do as much as I'd planned. But on the positive side I'm really hoping that these may be the first 'baby steps' to greater things.

Wednesday, 25 June 2014

Does make up hide everything?

So, last Thursday I went and had my make up lesson. The lesson itself was fun. I got on well with the lady that was teaching me and we had a good laugh.

However, the bad thing was that I came away slightly depressed.

I guess part of that was my fault. Maybe I thought that make up would make me look significantly better and it didn't.

In fact, if anything I swear it emphasized my wrinkles.

So I've been in a bit of a slump since the appointment. However, my weekend away is coming up in a few days and I still plan to have some fun.

I'll put a more detailed update on here next week.

Saturday, 14 June 2014

Preparations continue.

Before I continue can I say thank you, thank you, thank you to Karen Singer and Rachelle Belle for taking the time to comment on my blog. Your support and advice for my upcoming weekend away is very helpful and, in a strange way, quite comforting ... I hope that makes sense (?).

On Friday I went to pick my clothes up from New Look. I was a bit disappointed with the hoodie as it is slightly on the small side. I may send it back. The remainder of what I ordered is fine.

I then went into a Boots chemist to buy a complete set of make up for my lesson on Thursday. I had to do this because all I had (until Friday) was a mix and (mis)match set of makeups that I'd bought one at a time over a period of years.

For those unfamiliar with Boots, depending on the size of the store they have varying amounts of make up counters. This store is a medium sized one so it had a good selection and a full time assistant serving those counters.

As I want my lesson to actually teach me something I really wanted to get a coordinated set of make up. The lady serving the counter was in her late 40's. I waited until she was free and then asked her how you know what base or foundation to choose. She explained how you would try match it to the skin on the side of your hand. I then just told her that I was a cross dresser who wanted to practice make up and would she help me. She didn't even bat an eyelid. She established what price range I was looking at and we went to the counter that had the cheap range where she started helping me.

We started with the foundation where she chose a tester tube that she thought would suit me, she then put some on my hand and rubbed it in and agreed that that was the one for me. That brand of make up was on a 3 for £5 offer and she was determined that I would take advantage of it. We chose the foundation, mascara and eyeshadow. Then I also asked for blush and lipstick. In order to make up the 6th item I got lip gloss.

All throughout she offered me advice on what to do. Basically that advice boiled down to being, practice, practice, practice. If you don't like what you see, wipe it off and start again. The 'set' she has given me is good for a 'low impact' every day during the day look, ie. no party glam or pull the guys type look. As she explained, I can always branch out once I've mastered the basic look.

She was so professional and so helpful it really put me at ease. We spend about 20 minutes choosing the makeup and at no stage did she rush things and all the time she was offering advice.

Before leaving the shopping center I went looking for dresses. I would really like to go out wearing a dress on my en-femme day. The problem I have is that I can not wax my body until after August. So I was looking for a dress that was either full length or which I could wear with black tights. I found one beautiful full length dress. As the shops changing rooms were locked I had to ask an assistant to open them. She looked at the dress in my hands and I saw the look of distaste cross her face but she opened the change rooms regardless. The dress was nice but unfortunately the top of the dress was quite low revealing too much chest hair ... yuck! :-)   So I've given up on the idea of wearing a summer dress on my en-femme day. I will go back to the jeans and hoodie type plan.

I sat in my car and tried some of the make up on. I've always found it to be quite a thrill to put make up on. It's one of those ultimately feminine things. I can not tell you how excited I am for my lesson on Thursday.

Wednesday, 11 June 2014

Will reality match fantasy?

Experience has shown me that it's one thing to sit here safely at home and imagining what I would like to do on a day out, but it's a totally different thing to actually carry out that fantasy. Most of the time when the actual moment arrives to carry out that fantasy that I have been dreaming about for weeks I'll lose the nerve and tone things down considerably.

So, as an experiment, here's the outline of what I plan to do on the weekend away. I'll keep you informed of any changes to this plan up to and including Thursday 26 June. If I have wi-fi access at the hotel I will update this blog every night of the weekend away but otherwise I'll post what actually happened in the week following the weekend away. I think it will be quite interesting to see how reality matches fantasy. Feel free to let me know what your experiences are in this regard.

My weekend away that I mentioned a few posts back is a two night stay away from home starting on Friday 27 June. I return on the Sunday. In order to take full advantage of the weekend I have taken the Friday off work.

I plan to wear womens clothing the entire weekend. On the Friday I will wear a thong, a pair of bootcut jeans, the three quarter sleeve t-shirt and the hoodie that I have just bought. I will also wear a bra. As I haven't received them yet I am hoping that the t-shirt and hoodie are typical womens style and barely cover the waistband of the jeans. By wearing a thong I can have the back of it quite high with the result that when I sit the hems of the t-shirt and hoodie rise, the waistband of the jeans sinks and I end up exposing the thong. I'm also hoping that the weather will be good enough to allow me to take the hoodie off which then allows me the opportunity to get the outline of the bra seen. I am uncertain just yet as to what shoes I will wear. I have a pair of knee high boots with a plain heel tat I could wear or I have the heeled ankle boots that I bought recently. I suspect that I will start out wearing the knee high boots.

Once dressed I will leave the house and head out to a shopping center where I will have a good time looking through all the womens clothing stores. At 15:00 I have an appointment for a manicure. I will be getting my nails painted in some dark and bright shade of pink.

For my nail appointment I will change into the ankle boots. I plan to tell them that I am a part time cross dresser who is experimenting and pushing the boundaries in an attempt to work up to going out fully en-femme. I will take a camera and will get some photos taken during the appointment.

Once my nails are done I will drive up to the hotel. I will not attempt to hide my nails. Before checking in to the hotel I will take a drive around the town and see if there are any drive thru McDonalds or Burger King. I have no doubt that I'll spend a large portion of the evening taking a load of photos of me in various items of clothing and in various sexual scenarios.

I will be running a race on the Saturday (the whole reason for this trip). The race starts at 06:00. I will be wearing some combination of all my womens running kit. I will wear a pair of running gloves to hide my nails as the field of the race is small and there is a chance that even though I am miles away from home I might meet a runner I know.

If I am lucky I will be finished my race by 18:00 I will go back to the hotel for a shower and this is where I plan to start my fun.

I will make myself up and get dressed. Then I plan to go out and, assuming there is a drive thru, I will order myself a meal. This sounds really easy to do but it will be a huge hurdle to overcome to actually leave the safety of the hotel room and walk through the lobby to my car.

I'm hoping that I will find somewhere where I can go walk a bit and take a photo or two of myself en-femme in public.

I'll return to the hotel later.

On the Sunday morning I plan to leave quite early. I will be wearing the heeled ankle boots. Again I would like to dress up and leave as the female me. Checking out should be good fun ;-) but hopefully by now I'll be in the mindset of who cares, I don't know them and they don't know me. I plan to stop and fill up with petrol at least twice on the way home, each time going into the coffee area and ordering a drink or something to eat.

So, that's the plan ...

Tuesday, 10 June 2014

Ooops, maybe too much?

Before I begin let me apologise to those of you who may be getting bored of hearing about my running. However, the reality is that I enjoy running, and running allows me to wear womens clothing in public. And so a lot of what I tell you will involve running in one way or another.

I went for a run yesterday. As I'm training for an ultra that is coming up in 5 weeks time I need to get some long trail runs under my belt. The place where I work is about 1 km from a wooded area and once in the wooded area you can find loads of trails to run on.

So at work I prepared my water bottles and drinks and got changed. The problem with running from work is that I can't dress in many of the items of clothing I would love to dress in. So as a compromise I wore a pair of wet look leggings and a long t-shirt. The t-shirt is long enough to cover about 90% of my bum. Unlike cotton t-shirts which stretch when they get wet with sweat (apologies if that's too much information :-) ) this t-shirt is made from one of these new fancy materials that supposedly wick water away from you, keep you cool, protect from you the sun, make you run faster blah blah blah :-)

I carried a pair of womens blue disco shorts that I had bought from some months back. Once in the woods I put the shorts on. With the t-shirt as is it meant that about an inch of the shorts was peeking out from beneath the t-shirt. About a third of the way into my run (I'd passed 5 walkers/cyclists by now) I felt more adventurous. I tucked the t-shirt into the shorts.

Here is a photo of the leggings and shorts I took from another run:

It was an exciting feeling running and whenever I looked down I saw the matt blue of the disco shorts (and there is no way they can be mistaken for running shorts) contrasting against the tight wet look black leggings.

As I was running up a hill I saw a dog walker coming toward me. My gut reaction was to pull my t-shirt out but I controlled myself and just pulled the front of the t-shirt out. This effectively left a U shape of t-shirt hanging out the front but the sides and rear of my shorts were very visible. I passed her with no problem.

Now, if you're like me then every time you get away with something like that without a negative reaction it encourages you to push the limits a bit more. And so I did, I tucked my top back in. The next dog walker I passed glanced at my shorts but that was as far as it went.

Soon after this I was running up a narrow trail which, now that it's summer here, has become very overgrown and has so many stinging nettles that I refer to it as Stinging Nettle Alley. Two mountain bikers came towards me, I pulled off the path to let them pass. It was a couple. The male passed me thanking me as he did, the female who was a lot more unsteady on her bike approached, looked at my leggings and said 'Ah, leggings, I wish I'd worn mine.' I laughed and made a comment about how they don't work that well against nettles unfortunately.

The next pair of cyclists that passed me I noticed the one glancing at my shorts as he passed. But again, in th eabsence of any negative comments it didn't bother me, in fact it quite excited me.

All the way, as I ran, I kept glancing at the leggings and shorts. I'll try take a photo one day but the look of wet look leggings really excites me, and the way they were 'bulging' out from the short legs of the disco shorts and the way that light reflected off the 'bulge' was really very exciting.

I had a great run. As I came back into the outskirts of town I pulled my t-shirt out to hide most of my disco shorts.

The reason I have entitled this post as 'Ooops, maybe too much' was that when I got home I got a glance of myself in the mirror. The leggings looked VERY wet look and glossy. Definitely shinier than any running leggings I have ever seen.

Oh well ....

Sunday, 8 June 2014

Sissy running and stinging nettle punishment

Hello everyone,

Well, I went for another run. And of course I wore womens clothing. It was a lovely sunny day. I ran a 10 km (approximately 6 miles) trail route. I was passed by/or passed 7 mountain bikers and 5 walkers during the course of my run. I was dressed in a pair of USA Pro womens leggings and a womens running top. As underwear I was wearing a pair of plastic panties. (I really hate the way my belly sticks out. Next run I will be wearing a corset.)

As I was running I saw lots of stinging nettles at the side of the trail. It got me thinking that I should punish myself. You may ask, what did I need punishment for? I'm sure there are plenty of things, I should be punished for daring to wear women's clothing .. I don't deserve such an honour, or I should be punished for hiding my sissy nature ... I'm sure that there are many reasons and depending on who you are there will be a different reason why a cross dressing runner should be punished :-)

I found a clump of stinging nettles, broke off about 8 leaves and proceeded to put them in the back of my plastic panties. They stung a lot! I ran for about 6 kilometers with them in. I had thought that after a while it would stop stinging ... it didn't.

However, the stinging pain was exciting in as far as I was imagining that I was being punished by my Mistress. I also felt that as a sissy I deserved such punishment. I passed a few walkers and mountain bikers while I was enduring my punishment and I have to say it felt quite kinky and exciting. It also took my mind off the usual concern of 'oh dear, a walker/cyclist, will they notice I'm wearing women's clothing' concernt that I usually have.

Here is a series of photos I took (my camera allows you to take 10 photos on self timer) as I started my punishment.

And here you can see the welts left by the nettles. The stinging sensation lasted for about 6 hours after I removed them. For my next run I plan to put the nettles down the front.  And my final exercise in nettle punishment will be to put a good sized pile of them in the actual crotch of my panties. That way they will be between my legs and will be moved as my legs move while running. I imagine that that will be the most painful of the three exercises but one that I am looking forward to.